From The Desk Of Todd Snider, VP Abrupt Change Department, Aimless Inc.

INTRODUCING THE "CLASSICAL FUNK" STYLINGS OF TODD SNIDER
ANOTHER SMASH BATCH OF MUSIC ON I HEARD THEM RECORDS.
COMING SOON TO A POOL HALL NEAR YOU.

it was many years ago behind a pool hall called curlys in memphis
where an early version of the nervous wrecks were rehearsing
under the watchful eye of our mentor mark "hoot" marchetti

the pool hall was empty save the day janitor
who seemed to be a local street drinker
that curly, the pool halls owner, had given an odd job too
he listened to our music for a minute, scratched his head, smiled and said
"yall got that classical funk sound"
he then went on to say that he was a scout for "i heard them records"

man those were the days.
so full of promise and humor.
sometimes i wish we'd have signed with "i heard them records"
instead of MCA...
you know, just to see what would have happened.
but alas, the past is unchangeable
and so we forge on
night after night, song after song.

and now yet another batch of new songs
and the longest tour of all times
but enough about that for now

this is an ode to my best friend/arch nemesis

road bungler and top shelf elvis impersonator
elvis hixx
sung to the tune of kris kristoffersons
jesus was a capricorn.

elvis was a capricorn
he ate greasy fattening food
he wasnt much on love or peace
but he wore expensive shoes
no long hair beard or sandals
just his old school memphis friends
and i reckon they'd just prop him up
if he come down again

becuz everybodys gotta have somebody to say yes too
someone to help believe there worst is just misunderstood
someone to help pretend that there a black belt in karate
someone to say good show to
when the shows no fucking good

dead heads cussin phish heads
cussing parrot heads for there riches
rapper shooting rappers cussed
for calling woman ho's and bitches
some folks hate the pop stars who hate
the rock stars who switch to country
most of us'd switch anything
to look like elvis presley

the end.
ok buckaroos

so check out all these tour dates!
can you dig it? i knew that you could.

john travolta said that
it was in saturday night fever
in the hallway
but enough about john travlota

not only are we touring like teenagers this year
were putting out a new record in march, and then another in april
and on the tour
im bringing paul griffith and eric mcconnell with me to play drums and bass
and on some shows chad staehly and molly thomas will be with me to play violin and b3

AND were gonna work up all the songs
not just the ones ive been playing for the last year or so.
oh you noticed that. well EXCUSE ME!!
steve martin said that
on saturday night live
but enough about steve martin

seriously folks
as i get closer to finishing songs the old ones slip away from me a bit
but im getting em back as we speak.
were gonna mix the sets up wildly all year

so if you can dig that classical funk sound
and you can handle a band whose tour mangler bears an uncanny resembalance to elvis presley
well then this is the tour for you

come out and yell free bird or something
it'll be a gas gas gas.

todd snider
aimless inc.
vice president abrupt plan change dept.
radisson hotel
flagstaff arizona 2012